Winter Solstice (Yule) Ritual

Tools:
In addition to your usual altar tools, you will need:

• A Green Altar Cloth
  
• A Cauldron w/Lid or Cover Plate
  
• Holly Sprig Wreath
  
• Mistletoe Sprig Wreath
  
• 12 Low Vibration Stones (flat oval river rock work well)
  
• 1 Black Votive Candle, 1 Green 12" Taper Candle, 1 White 12" Taper Candle, 1 Gold (12hr) Pillar Candle
  
• Pine Incense
  
• Bowl of Water w/ Pine Sprig in it
  
• Plate of Sand
  
• Athame
  
• Other Personal Items of choice

Preparation:
This ritual showed be performed right after sunset. About an hour before, sweep area moving in a deosil manner. Yule symbols such as Poinsettias, Pine Cones, and even a decorated Yule Log nearby (if too big for altar) adds to the ambiance. Place the proper candles and symbols at the four cardinal directions. Place the gold God pillar candle at right top of altar. Place the white Goddess taper candle at the top left. Place your Pentacle (or a plate with a Pentagram drawn on it) in the center of the altar. Place your Cauldron to the right of the altar, with the black votive candle, Holly sprig wreath around it , inside. Cover cauldron with lid or cover plate. Place the green taper candle and mistletoe wreath where they will be behind you at the beginning of the ritual. Outline your circle perimeter with 11 of the low vibration stones (save 12th to close circle when you enter. Place the rest of your tools and props according to personal preference. Take a shower or bath for purity. Sit quietly for a period to ground and center. When ready put on some soothing music associated with the Sabbat and your ritual. Enter the standing stone circle and close with 12th stone.

Cast circle by envisioning flames of Yule colors red, green, and gold coming up between the stones. When all become a continuous line, step up to the altar and begin:

"From the darkness is born the light, From void, fulfillment emerges... The darkest night of the year's at the threshold, Open now the door, and honor the darkness."

Take the lid/plate off the cauldron and light the black votive candle inside. Step back from the cauldron and give silent honor to the Holly King, the ruler of the dark half of the year. Call quarters, start by lighting yellow candle in the East:

"Powers of Air, step forth from the darkness, Enter my circle , as dark gives 'way to light. Bring along with you the essence of pine trees, Remind me of Springtime As I face Solstice Night."

Light the pine incense and place on Pentacle/Center Plate. Light the red candle in the South:

"Powers of Fire, step forth from the darkness, Enter my circle, as dark gives 'way to light, Bring along with you the first glint of tomorrow, Remind me of Summer As I face Solstice Night."

Pick up the Athame and brandish it in the flame of the candle to reflect the light. Place on the Pentacle/Center Plate. Light the blue candle in the West:

"Powers of Water, step forth from the darkness, Enter my circle, as dark gives 'way to light, Bring along with you bittersweet memories Remind me of Autumn As I face Solstice Night."

Pick up the bowl of water, sprinkle water with pine sprig in Pentacle/Center Plate. Light brown candle in the North:

"Powers of Earth, step forth from the darkness, Enter my circle, as dark gives 'way to light, Bring along with you the land that now slumbers, Remind me of Winter And this cold Solstice Night."

Pick up the plate of sand, sprinkle sand in a line around the other symbols. Step back from the alter for a moment and contemplate the seasons of the past year, and how their lessons have brought you to where you are today. When ready, begin again:

"Dark my surroundings, and cold be this night But Thy labor, Blessed Mother Has reborn the Sacred Light... The Child Divine, The most honored Sun Shall return with the sunrise Again, Two will be One."

Remove the Holly wreath from around the black votive candle. With your right hand, present it to the four elements in a deosil manner. Finally, in a clockwise motion, place it behind you, to signify the death, "passing", of the Holly King. Turn back to the altar. Then with your left hand, reach behind you, and in a clockwise motion bring forward the Mistletoe wreath and the green candle. Present them to the elements, slide the wreath over the green candle and place the candle in its holder in the cauldron. Light the green candle with the black votive candle:

"Hark! Behold the Rebirth of the King of the Woodlands! Behold the Oak King, strong and vital he rises!" Snuff the black votive candle and with your right hand, place it behind you in a clockwise motion. Turn back to the cauldron, close your eyes, and silently honor the Oak King. Begin again: "Awake now Thy Mother, Thy Lover, Thy Lady - Awake now Thy Goddess of Life, Death, Rebirth."

Take the green candle out of the cauldron and light the white Goddess candle on the altar. Replace the green candle in the cauldron. Take the white Goddess candle with both hands and hold out at arm's length over the cauldron:

"Awaken, my Lady, look upon Thyne Divine Child, His rebirth while You slumbered Was subtle and silent. The Stag King, the Green Man, Lord of Fertility, He awaits Thy wakening Gentle and benevolent"

Place the white Goddess candle back in its holder at the left top of altar. Step back and assume the Goddess position. In a bold voice:

"All hail the Oak King, His rebirth; a promise All hail the Divine Child, Giver of Life All hail the Blessed Sun, reborn to the Mother For he retakes His throne at the end of Solstice Night!"

Now is the time for meditation and any spellworkings. Spellworkings associated with Yule include those for peace, harmony, love, and happiness. Next celebrate with the Cakes and Ale (Fruitcake* and Spiced Cider *) ceremony, saving some for the wee Folkes, outside. Thank the Goddess and snuff Her candle. Thank and release the elements:

"Carry sweet tidings, 'round the world and beyond, I charge thee as messengers Earth, Water, Fire, and Air Let all rejoice loudly in the Oak King's return Teach all that you meet, with the glad tidings you bear."

Snuff each Quarter candle in a widdershins manner. Step back and face the cauldron and the green candle still burning bright.

"Before my circle, tonight, I close Blessings I ask for this house and my kin Tomorrow at daybreak, when I arise A special flame I will carry, within... And a gold candle upon my altar I'll light Adding my will to the Sun King's intent To climb aloft in the vaulted skies And for strength back to me; three times, strength I've sent."

Snuff the green candle. Take the Mistletoe wreath and place it on the other symbols on the Pentacle/Center Plate. Release the circle. Clean up, leaving the gold God pillar candle in center front to light upon rising in the morning. You are done.

http://www.wicca.com/celtic/akasha/yulerit.htm --Adapted by Akasha Ap Emrys to share with all her friends and those of like mind--

Themes:
the birth of the sun, battle between Oak and Holly Kings, longest night of the year

Sacred To:
Sun God/desses, Holly & Oak Kings, the sacred son in any form

Key Activities:
* Make the circle with evergreen boughs;
outdoors, sweep the snow out to the edges
and lay the brooms on the circular snowbank.
* Burn the Yule Log
* Make tree ornaments: animals, plants,
moons, sun, stars (children can make 'snow
flakes' and decorate with glitter)
* Decorate a "World Tree" indoors, or a living
one outdoors
* Perform a mystery play about the birth of the
Sun. Sing pagan carols.
* Exchange blessing gifts
* Enjoy a visit from Mother Berchta with her
bag of gifts (see below)
* Tell the story of Stonehenge as an
astronomical observatory.
* Enact the battle between the Oak & Holly
Kings (Oak wins)
* Play Find the Sun game (people seated in a circle pass a foil 'sun' ball, trying to hide it from a sole person outside the circle; when he spies it he trades places with the one holding it)
* Appoint (or draw lots) a "Lord of Misrule" to
preside over the festivities.

*Ritual Craft by Amber K and Azrael Arynn K

Berchta, Mistress of Destiny

Submitted by: swampy http://www.dutchie.org/Tracy/goddess/berchta.html

"Hallowed Woman of the Earth
We give this gift to you
Frau Holda, riding forth this night,
Look kindly on our work,
Berchta, beldame of the wheel,
Spin us good wyrd tonight
O Mighty Mother of us all
Pray, fill our house with joy!"

Berchta (also called Perchta) is a Teutonic Goddess whose worship originated in the southern part of Germany in what is now the German state of Bavaria. Berchta has been called by names in other parts of Europe (some scholars feel that these are Berchta herself, others feel that they are similar goddesses that are at least are closely related to Berchta): Holde (`merciful'), Holla, Holda, Huldra, Frau Holle, Mother Holle, Perht, Berta (`Bright'), Queen of the Estantigua (Spain), and Frau Freke (a name connected to Frig). Berchta's name is connected with words meaning "bright, luminous or glorious."

Berchta, is the "White Lady" who spins destiny. In the Teutonic rendering of what is considered to be 'Norse' mythology, Berchta is usually said to be the wife of the god Woden (also known as Wodan, Wotan, Oden, or Odin). The name 'Woden' means 'Fury' or 'Frenzy' and He is associated with otherworldly beings and flying at night with horned animals. Woden is considered to be the Master of the Wild Hunt and Berchta is its mistress. The Wild Hunt, full of ghosts, trolls, and other outdwellers, occurs during the days immediately following the Winter Solstice. In some of the Old Germanic sagas, Berchta is seen in the forests and winter snow with 24 spotted hounds, and She leads the 'Wights' (Spirits) through the winter time season back unto the resting places in the spring.

Berchta is described as an old woman with long teeth and tangled hair (and sometimes depicted with a long iron nose and one large foot), and other times she is described as a beautiful dark haired woman dressed and crowned in white! Berchta is shown travelling either in a wagon or bearing a plough and attended by the spirits of unborn children. Sometimes She is shown flying through the air accompanied by a goose, which always flies in front of Her (making Berchta the original Mother Goose). Berchta is mainly associated with the winter season and She is also believed to be the cause of many natural phenomena. Snow is caused by Her shaking Her feather bed, and fog was the smoke from Her fire.

Berchta is a Mother Goddess and a fertility goddess who rewards the good, but also punishes the lazy and cruel. Many tales are told of Berchta to frighten children into behaving when they are unmanageable. Berchta is said to come at night and drag the child off in a sack or stamp on it with Her foot. If the child is especially naughty She might cut open its stomach and fill it with chopped straw and dirt. Berchta's dark side is evident in Her role in the witches' ride, an equivalent of the Wild Hunt.

'Mothers Night' is a festival held the night before the Solstice (ca. Dec. 20) that is sacred to Berchta and other Mother Goddesses. Lore says that on this night no spinning is to be done, for this activity is holy to Berchta. In fact, Berchta often comes to inspect the spindles. She rewards diligent spinners by making their work easier; She punishes lazy spinners by soiling or fraying their yarn. It is traditional to eat a simple meal of fish and porridge on Mothers Night, for these foods are holy to the Mother Goddesses.

Berchta descends on the nights between December 22 and January 6 and travels the countryside in Her wagon, unrecognized, bestowing gifts to those who have been generous and punishing those who have been greedy or lazy. Variations have Her flying on Her broom accompanied by the spirits of dead children, elves and faeries. But in all the tales She goes up and down chimney's to bring gifts to the children in Her worshipped households.

The tradition of honoring Berchta may be the clearest survival of a cult connected to a Teutonic deity. While the worship of other gods has been suppressed into silence for so many centuries Berchta's legends have adapted from age to age. Christianity left its mark on Berchta's image, in many post-Christian tales Berchta is no longer a Goddess but rather an ugly old woman and patron of witches. This is in keeping with the concept that as a heathen goddess Berchta is a demon and the transformation from goddess into demon witch wife is clear. As the 'witch queen' of the time after Christianity, it was said that Berchta claims the souls of unbaptised children for the old gods, plus it was said that Berchta also punishes women who work over the Christmas period, on Sundays or on saints' days in a like manner. This gives us the rather ironic picture of a Pagan goddess protecting a Christian tradition, but it clearly shows how old legends can adapt to new ideas if given the chance.

Berchta's sacred color is black; Her herbs are Storax and Myrrh; Her animals are the wolf, the goose and the bear; Her stones are onyx, jet, obsidian, black agate, and lead; Her trees are beech, elm, ivy, linden, juniper, mullein, blackthorn, willow, yew, and elder; Her day of the week is Saturday; and her runes are isa, hagalaz, and ehwo

Yule Lore (December 21st)

Yule Lore (December 21st)

Yule, (pronounced EWE-elle) is when the dark half of the year relinquishes to the light half. Starting the next morning at sunrise, the sun climbs just a little higher and stays a little longer in the sky each day.

Also refered to as the Winter Solstice, it is the longest night of the year (shortest day). For thousands of years humans have honored this day as the mark to the winter relenquishing its hold on the land....a sign spring is on its way. Ironically, humans can't witness the exact winter solstice with the naked eye, the change in the lengthening of daylight is most noticable within a few days post the actual solstice....which falls on Christmas day! As the sun is becoming a stronger influence on our lives (as the days get longer) Yule is a time of celebrating the Gods rebirth (since the sun is often thought of as the Gods solar aspect). So at Yule, the God is the Goddess' (mother nature) son, re-born in His solar aspect. (as the Sabbats celebrate the cycle of life - birth, aging, death, re-birth - this High Holy Day is designated to celebrate the birth).

Deities of Yule are all Newborn Gods, Sun Gods, Mother Goddesses, and Triple Goddesses. The best known would be the Dagda, and Brighid, the daughter of the Dagda. Brighid taught the smiths the arts of fire tending and the secrets of metal work. Brighid's flame, like the flame of the new light, pierces the darkness of the spirit and mind, while the Dagda's cauldron assures that Nature will always provide for all the children.

Much celebration was to be had as the ancestors awaited the rebirth of the Oak King, the Sun King, the Giver of Life that warmed the frozen Earth and made her to bear forth from seeds protected through the fall and winter in her womb. Bonfires were lit in the fields, and crops and trees were "was sailed" with toasts of spiced cider. The Oak King and Holly King are known as light and dark twins and are celebrated in different aspects through most Sabbats. We re-inact their battles in our circles at the solstices (Litha and Yule) to symbolize not the king's death but the giving up of rulership pf the year to his brother, his "other" self, for the needs and tasks of each half of the year are different. Wiccans believe the Goddess (in her maiden aspect takes the loser away to heal him so he will be strong enough to win the battle at the next solstice). The famous tale of Gwain and the Green Knight is an Arthurian version of the Oak and Holly King battle - Gwain if Oak and the Green Knight is Holly. In otehr stories Robin Hood is associated with a bird, whose red breast symbolizes the sun - with the smoke from the Yule Log Robin rushes up the chimney, and re-appears as Belin (little-known brother of Bran) whom the Sheriff recognizes as the Holly King and hangs. Therefore, some believe the Holly Kins is the orgin of Santa Clause. (1)

In ancient times, children were escorted from house to house with gifts of clove spiked apples and oranges which were laid in baskets of evergreen boughs and wheat stalks dusted with flour. The apples and oranges represented the sun, the boughs were symbolic of immortality, the wheat stalks portrayed the harvest, and the flour was accomplishment of triumph, light, and life. Holly, mistletoe, and ivy not only decorated the outside, but also the inside of homes. It was to extend invitation to Nature Sprites to come and join the celebration. A sprig of Holly was kept near the door all year long as a constant invitation for good fortune to pay visit to the residents.

The ceremonial Yule log was the highlight of the festival. In accordance to tradition, the log must either have been harvested from the householder's land, or given as a gift... it must never have been bought. Once dragged into the house and placed in the fireplace it was decorated in seasonal greenery, doused with cider or ale, and dusted with flour before set ablaze be a piece of last years log, (held onto for just this purpose). The log would burn throughout the night, then smolder for 12 days after before being ceremonially put out. Ash is the traditional wood of the Yule log. It is the sacred world tree of the Teutons, known as Yggdrasil. An herb of the Sun, Ash brings light into the hearth at the Solstice.

A different type of Yule log, and perhaps one more suitable for modern practitioners would be the type that is used as a base to hold three candles. Find a smaller branch of oak or pine, and flatten one side so it sets upright. Drill three holes in the top side to hold red, green, and white (season), green, gold, and black (the Sun God), or white, red, and black (the Great Goddess). Continue to decorate with greenery, red and gold bows, rosebuds, cloves, and dust with flour.

Symbolism of Yule:
Rebirth of the Sun, The longest night of the year, The Winter Solstice, Introspect, Planning for the Future.

Symbols of Yule:
Yule log, or small Yule log with 3 candles, evergreen boughs or wreaths, holly, mistletoe hung in doorways, gold pillar candles, baskets of clove studded fruit, a simmering pot of wassail, poinsettias, christmas cactus.

Herbs of Yule:
Bayberry, blessed thistle, evergreen, frankincense holly, laurel, mistletoe, oak, pine, sage, yellow cedar.

Foods of Yule:
Cookies and caraway cakes soaked in cider, fruits, nuts, pork dishes, turkey, eggnog, ginger tea, spiced cider, wassail, or lamb's wool (ale, sugar, nutmeg, roasted apples).

Incense of Yule:
Pine, cedar, bayberry, cinnamon.

Colors of Yule:
Red, green, gold, white, silver, yellow, orange.

Stones of Yule:
Rubies, bloodstones, garnets, emeralds, diamonds.

Activities of Yule:
Caroling, wassailing the trees, burning the Yule log, decorating the Yule tree, exchanging of presents, kissing under the mistletoe, honoring Kriss Kringle the Germanic Pagan God of Yule

Spellworkings of Yule:
Peace, harmony, love, and increased happiness.

Deities of Yule:
Goddesses-Brighid, Isis, Demeter, Gaea, Diana, The Great Mother. Gods-Apollo, Ra, Odin, Lugh, The Oak King, The Horned One, The Green Man, The Divine Child, Mabon.

(1) Celebrating the Seasons of Life: Samhain to Ostara by Ashleen O'Gaea
(2) http://www.wicca.com/celtic/akasha/yule.htm
--Adapted by Akasha Ap Emrys For all her friends and those of like mind--

Putting the past behind me

I feel a bit sad today. Feeling better than I did last night, but still, sad. I have a few credit card bills, and my unemployment ran out. Just wonderful. Can someone please tell the government that SAHMs work too?

The key is to learn from my mistakes. I have to learn that I don’t need to spend in order to feel good. But the thing is, I get so lonely. I try to reach out to people, and people don’t give me the time of day. I throw parties, and invite everyone I know, and no one shows. It’s so depressing. I want a deep friendship with someone who connects with me spiritually, you know? Not just these vain friendships with women who can afford to be SAHMs, and have money to waste here and there.

And my back is killing me from carrying my girl all day long. I’m depressed. And fat. I don’t need things to make me feel good, I need to feel good for myself. But it’s not easy! Really, it is so hard. I wish I could just call up a girl friend and tell her all about it. But I can’t. My mother is a nut job too, so there goes that one. Even if she wasn’t, she’s a Bible thumper to the core. I get so down sometimes I just want to run away. But I couldn’t. I love my daughter too much. And my husband.

I have to just put the past behind me, and free myself from it. It’s not my consequence anymore. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with not feeling good once in a while. There is so much pressure to not be, or to be a certain way. We need to allow ourselves to feel once in a while. It’s okay to be down. So longs we at least try to learn from it.

I’m going to take a ritual bath tonite-one to help me heal. Color the water blue for healing, burn some incense, and add some lavender to the water to aid in depression. Lite a candle, and bingo. Instant spa relaxation.

I’m feeling better already…

Rejection from a so called friend

It just pisses me off when I’m a friend to someone and they don’t bother returning my phone calls. What the fuck si wrong with people nowadays? Does everyone in the world have to be a lame ass mother fucker? What the hell? I get so angry about it, I just want to spit nails. I’m a good person. I’m a good friend. I may be truthful and blunt; but I’m a good friend. I’m a good person.

So why the hell do people not return my calls? I’m angry at a particular person at the moment, for not returning my calls, for thinking she is better then mesimply because she wastes all her money on organic food. Well, thanks but given the choice between electricity and organic food, I would rather have electricity. Thanks. I understand that it’s important. I understand that we should be eating as much organic as possible. But I can’t fucking afford it. Alright?

I met this person thru her live in boyfriend, who I happen to know. She is a nice girl, but so extreme. She’s so extreme in her way of thinking that she makes you feel badly for the way you live your life in comparison to hers. She points out what you are doing wrong, she tells you what you could be doing better. She acts proud and high on herself for being the way that she is. So I’m not a vegetarian. So I don’t eat all organic food. Does that make me less of a person? In terms of living in harmony with the environment, does doing these things and bragging about them, and acting holier then thou about it, does it make her more in harmony with the earth? No. it does not. In fact, yes. Animals are living things. So are plants. So are trees, and flowers and all that grows. It doesn’t mean that I’m not going to eat at all so as to not hurt any living thing. I eat healthy. But I believe in the passion that comes from the love of making a good hearty meal for my family. I love to cook. Cooking is passion. Food is love. And I don’t put restrictions on love. Or passion. I just know when to say when.

When it comes down to it, I am hurt. I am hurt that she doesn’t return my calls, I am hurt that she thinks herself better then me. I am bothered and angry that she thinks that way. I am hurt and angry because I know that although I am blunt, I am kind. I am worth having as a friend. It makes me feel rejected, which angers me. I shouldn’t feel this way. Hurt and angry. It’s her loss, right? But I’m so trying to make friendships which uplift me and make me feel more positive. I want friendships with people who are okay with my spirituality, and who share my beliefs; people who are creative and artistic like me; people who inspire me. Some times there are people who need you, and that’s great. It’s nice to be needed. But sometimes I need to give back to myself; to restore myself.

Perhaps I feel badly for calling her and leaving her a message stating that I have her book that she intrusively gave me to borrow. I didn’t want it, she just got that holier than thou attitude and assumed I needed it. It’s called “giving the love that heals”. It’s a parenting book. Thanks . But no thanks. First of all, I know how love. I don’t need a book to teach me that. I also do not need someone to assume things of me, when I am opening myself up to you. I tell her things, and she reccomeneds books to me. I don’t need some silly book to teach me what I already know. I give love to my daughter. She’s my guru. She teaches me what it is to be a real person. She teaches me what it is to be alive. To love. To live. No book can teach you that. No book can tell you how to be a good parent. Not really. Your intuition tells you. You can waken the wisdom inside you. That is what teaches you. It alone can tell you what your child needs. Not a book. No book in the world is substitute for your third eye, for the wisdom within.

So I suppose that I’ll forget about her. She’s not worth me feeling negatively about it. I just want a friend who shares my interests. For now I’ll be friends with myself.

Halloween thoughts…

Man, Halloween rocked this year! I had so much fun. I went dressed up as a witch, and my little one dressed up as a penguin. She was so cute! My hubby went as a dead person. We went to the parade that they hold here. It was so cool! They close down the streets and the firefighters and cops parade down the streets playing band music and handing out candy all dressed up. There was even a headless horseman!

It just blows that I missed out on Halloween fun just because of my bible thumper parents. Why do people feel like they have to feel like they have to impose their beliefs on their children, simply because (and you know this) they are nuts? Honestly, their all a bunch of nut jobs. Xtians, and health nuts that don't let their kids go trick or treating because god forbid their kids eat any candy. Since when is Halloween an evil holiday?

And then xtians have this ridiculous belief that witches pray against xtians on Halloween and on dates that are 9/9/9 or 6/6/6….oh brother. What a bunch of weirdos.

Hard times in the city....

I really have been out of sorts lately. I don’t feel well at all. A bit down, frankly. I have been trying to make new friendships, and trying to connect with people. It seems like the only people that I can connect with are people who I have nothing in common with. I try to look for people who I can relate to, people who are creative and spiritual like me…but to no avail. I end up being let down. I just want to have a friendship. Is that too much to ask?

I lived my whole life sheltered, being shunned from establishing friendships because of my insane and possessive mother. No one taught me how to establish a friendship while I was growing up. No one taught me anything except heartache and how to be a fanatic Christian. I just want someone to go shopping with; someone to run errands with. You know what I mean? It is just so lonely in this city. No one really gets you at all. No one understands you, and everyone is so quick to judge you.

I watched “Bruce Almighty” last night. It’s all about this guy who thinks his life sucks, and thinks God (portrayed as a male) is not doing his job. It’s not fair, he says. Life sucks, and God is not there for me, blah blah blah. So God gives him all his powers and Bruce becomes god for like a week or so. It is a cool movie, in that Jim Kerry is hilarious. I love that part of the movie. I don’t agree with the idea of a dominant god being a male, nor do I agree that God is a god that is sitting there waiting for our beckon call to answer our prayers, nor do I agree that God decides our future. I do believe in fate, and in things being meant to be, but I think that we have a lot to do with our own future. I think that we can shape our fate, and control our destiny if we chose.

So my point in bringing up this movie, is that I understand how the character feels. Often times I just feel so overlooked in life. I feel like everyone shuffles through life, meanwhile I am always getting stuck, not being able to really move forward with things. Ugh. I just want to find some cool people to talk to and have coffee with.

I’ve tried looking online for mom groups, but I don’t find any creative mom groups at all. I don’t see any groups for mothers who are artistic and creative at all. Just moms with husbands who make probably twice what my husband makes. I have to continue my search, perhaps.

Anyone out there want to be my friend?

My thoughts on parenting....

Parenting really is something that is a common sense thing. It's so unfortunate that there are people that I know that really have little common sense at all. But parenting requires more than just common sense. It requires you to actually remember what it felt like growing up, and to remember what your parents did you, and it requires that you learn from your past first.
Too many people (like my parents) have children and do not have common sense, and raise their children to truly raise themselves. To be a good parent you have to be a good teacher.
Parenting classes would be alright for some folks, but good parenting comes from the heart.
I have a friend that is such a book parent. Everything out of her mouth is a quote from a book. Meanwhile her daughter is a brat. It takes more than books to raise a child. I can read all the books in the world.
I truly believe that there are people in the world who should not have children. There are people that should not have the privilege of having children. It angers me because I am a result of parents who should never have been allowed to raise children. But this is the world we live in.
In the end, the government is not going to be bothered by such a thing. So we are left to fiend for ourselves and raise ourselves.
But if we, who do know better, become an example, then we can hopefully shed some light to other folks.
I hope I shed a light to my friend (the aforementioned) when I told her that I don't believe in surrounding myself with all these nonsense books on child psychology. I know what my daughter needs. All I have to do is keep my third eye open, and listen to myself. Then I can be a great parent.
But being a good parent is also realizing that no one is perfect.
We all fuck up sometimes.

Right up my alley

So I'm going to take my boob out Oct. 10, and feed my daughter in public without covering up.
It's bad enough that we live in a society where I can't practice my belief in public (meanwhile the bible thumpers in the world can surely tell me I'm going to hell).
Why do we live in such an oppressive society? It's this male dominated society that just wants to oppress women, and control us and make us these silly drones.
I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of the narrow minded people that don't want to be my friend just because they find out I'm a witch. Well you know what? Fuck you. Honestly. I don't care anymore.
I don't agree with some people I know because I honestly could give two shits what people think of me. You can preoccupy yourself with that. Not me. Fuck it. Life is too short for me to be compassionate to Joe Shmoe Bible thumper.
I'll not trivialize what I believe in by throwing pearls to swine.
You may wonder what the hell this has to do with breastfeeding. But to me breastfeeding issuch a sacred and beautiful thing. It's such a magical thing that you do-feeding your child from yourself. It's what motherhood is all about. Giving of yourself to someone who's part of you. What a beautiful thing. It's like spirituality. It's such a sacred and beautiful thing. Then the pigs come and try to oppress motherhood and opress pagans to the point where I have to run out of restaurants, and have to practice my faith in fear of my bible thumper mother ever finding out (and casting out the demons she should take from herself that she thinks are in me).
So spirituality and breastfeeding are two sacred things I'm not going to be afraid of.
Visit http://www.leagueofmaternaljustice.com/2007/09/mission-2-the-g.html
for more info on The Great Virtual Breast Fest.

clipped from www.leagueofmaternaljustice.com League of Maternal Justice

My inspiration....

I love this shrine box!
I'm going to make something like this. I'm in the begining stage of making a shrine box to the goddess. This one I got from this site
http://www.artunraveled.com/images/Box_Shrine2.JPG
But I can't wait till the gesso is dry on my box to get started! I just have to build up a little collection of things that I think will look nifty.
A cool site for help on making religious shrine boxes is: http://www.buddhamind.info/leftside/actives/shrine.htm
I'm going to get some tips there.

clipped from www.artunraveled.com

I have to go to this..

I really do. This looks like such a good time. If only I had more friggin money. I hate being broke.
Why is it that when you are broke, you find so many great things to spend money on?
Ugh. I need a rich uncle.

clipped from www.womanvis.com October New Moon Circle: Finding Balance Wednesday, October 10th When: Wedensday, October 10th at 7pm Where:Children’s Aid Society, 219 Sullivan Street (between Bleecker and W3rd) Cost: $25 pre-registration, $30 at the door, FREE for women participating in Journey to Yourself 2008 Investment: Free Reservations Required: RSVP: to Joanna or Dawn at info@womanvis.com or 212-501-3892 This is the evening to take time just for you, identify where you would like to bring things back into balance, and take steps towards that goal. This month, we look at the ways our lives are in and out of balance. Where are you placing too much energy? And, where would you like to be placing more? Perhaps right now you are super-focused on your career, but it’s leaving no time for your romantic life. Or perhaps life has been so busy that you feel you’ve been neglecting your health and well-being.

I need this like I need a hole in my head

Why does america need cupcakes? Honestly.
So here I am reading this article on the New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/weekinreview/23kershaw.html
and I realize...I live in country of sweets.
It's interesting that my own mother said that when she came to this country over 30 years ago the first thing she noticed was that she put on about 15 pounds just from eating our food. Amazing.
I really try to eat healthy. I do
Lately, in my attempt to be one with the earth, I have been trying to swear off red meat. It's been going well. I feel healthier.
The thing is, I really want to feel like my body is in tune and in harmony with mother earth.
We'll see how it goes...

clipped from www.nytimes.com

Dammit, Martha Stewart...

Why does she have to always have such cute stuff?!
Well, now that she's moved on from Kmart, I can proudly use my Macys charge card (just kidding, oh hubby of mine). This spice rack is so cute!
I have to have it. It will sit nicely on my kitchen counter.
I have this old spice rack that sits on the wall, but honestly...the little brown brooklynites have gotten the best of it. It's gross.
The thing I hate the most about New York is the goddammed cockroaches.
So this thing is better. It's open, so there aren't dark spaces for them to hide in.
I love it!
I have to say, I really love Martha Stewart. I'm not ashamed of it either. I wish I had been locked up with her! I could have learned a thing or two!

clipped from www1.macys.com With 12 of the most essential herbs and spices at your disposal, you'll never be at a loss for flavor. Gleaming in gorgeous chrome, this three-tiered rack is designed for classic spice storage and easy countertop access. Limited lifetime warranty. Martha Stewart Collection Chrome Spice Rack

Positively…

So lately I've been trying something new. No more negative talk. It's amazing how much you find yourself talking negatively to yourself. You know, I actually tried to count how often negative thoughts or words come to my brain, and holy cow! Really, I lost count. It's crazy.

It's hard as a woman, to really shut down the inner critic. So often, we hear people tell us how thin we should be, or how tall, or how attractive, and to who's standards we should live up to; the media does such a great job of shutting down our self esteem to the point where we become these glazed eyed consumers who can only feel attractive if they purchase something, or spend money on a membership to a gym or waste money on some lame ass weight loss program.

Why waste your time on those things? Honestly, the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop the negative talk and move forward. Being a consumer is taking step backward in life. It's amazing how the things we want in our life are really blocked by our self image. There are goals that I have, and goals I'm sure you have for yourself. These goals are what make you feel positive, and alive. Accomplishing those makes you feel amazing. So instead of wasting your time with the negative talk and the consumerism, start a clothing swap and accomplish those goals!

I personally have affirmations that I get every day in my inbox. That helps me a lot. I read them aloud, and try to let it really sink in. I'm moving forward, baby!

Pagan Housecleaning

The one thing I love about being a witch is that I can incorporate paganism into the everyday life. The best way, for example, through housecleaning. I have a bottle of Rue water that I add into the water that I mop with. Of course, I use Orange essential oil and vinegar. But I also add the Rue, to help cleanse the home, and bring in love and good health to all who enter it.

When I sweep the floors, I imagine myself sweeping away all the negativity and arguments had. While mopping the floors, I imagine my goals coming to pass, and all the things I'm wanting for myself at the moment. I imagine bringing in prosperity, peace and love into my home. I'll then burn some incense (frankincense), with the windows open, to shoo away any stale or negative energy in the home.

I do this while I clean pretty much anything in my home. It works, truly! Even while washing clothes, you can add a little salt to the wash, along with a couple drops of some potion or essential oil, based on your desired effect. Just find out which essential oils work for what, and do it!

Ahhh…Zen…

The greatest thing about being me is how much I love road trips. I love them. So does my hubby. So we went to this wonderful Buddhist Monestary a few weeks ago. Love, love, love it. I do.

Not only do I feel amazingly at peace there, but it is truly a beautiful place. I really feel like it made a huge impact on my inner self, you know? I have been trying to truly apply myself in my daily yoga and meditation. It's an art-the act of letting go completely. It is then that change happens, I think.

Here's a good list of Buddhist temples, in case you want to check it out for yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Buddhist_temples

On another note, I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm no longer hiding my pagan-ness. Not at all. In my quest to make new friends, I've decided to not compromise who I am. I am so sick of breaking down my altar just for some bible thumper who can't stand the heat. Fuck that shit, I say. I am going to be who I am, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad.

Epiphany

So I had an epiphany. I realized that I really, really love beauty products. I love bath and body products. I love perfumes. I was on a sight yesterday called Patchouli Garden that sells all things Patchouli (I've recently gotten into the scent of patchouli). It's a cool sight in that it sells things that they make themselves AND things that they re-sell-like insence and real Indian perfume oil for around $10 or less. Very nice!

My problem is that while I realize that materialism is something detestable in my parents, it is something that is trying to overtake me. But I won't let it. No sir. I really want to continue my lifelong search for enlightenment. I feel like all the clutter and all the possessions don't allow me to be the me that I want to be. Clutter in the home, is clutter in the soul, I think. It's just so much. So much clothes that I don't wear, so many how to books that I don't use, and so many things. So many. Of course, my vintage book and record collection will stay in tact. But I really want to strip down with all the things I have. I want to display the simple person I feel myself to be on the inside. So today, while my daughter naps, I will be trying to get rid of some books, and clothing that I don't need.

I want my home to reflect who I am, and I don't feel that clutter represents that. I feel like I'm an almost enlightened soul, with a lot of learning left to do. But still I feel like I found peace, and I don't feel like I have to fill myself with possessions in order to feel fulfilled. Instead of material things, I want to fill myself by being a better wife, mother and lover to my husband and daughter. I want to feel fulfilled by having a house full of love instead of a house full of crap.

My Goddess Box

So I made my Goddess Box. I filled with all sorts of prayers and things that I lifted up to the Goddess-may she answer them, and hear my heart's desire. I also worked on a meditation exersize to open your chakras, and get you centered. Just focusing on your centers, and listening to some relaxing music is nice. I do this before I do my yoga, which-YES, I did today.

I'm pretty proud of myself. I have to write a college essay for my application to school. I plan on attending in January, with the Goddess' help. I'm taking full time online classes. It's a lot, I know. But I have to. Or else, I'll never be finished!

I'm also taking priestess training. I'm really excited about that. I love to study and learn, so this is a great opportunity for me. Plus when I'm done, I'll have a snazzy new title that sounds cool. LOL

My darling daughter has continued her fascination with her mobile. She talks to them. I'm convinced that there are some faires around, that are entertaining her. Of course, everything's amusing to a 3 month old.

This time I mean it...

So I’ve decided to really turn off my mind and my emotions and just do it, dammit. Yoga and meditation and tai chi every day. It makes me feel good, and tunes me in to my intuition. Intuition is great. Because of it, we can know what to do. If we tune ourselves to our intuition, healing begins, and we can trust ourselves. We can know what to do in every situation.

Of course, the key to learn the Buddhist art of silence. Truly. But what an impossible feat! It is nearly impossible to shut your mind out from the rest of the world. A good thing to do, is to try channels-mantras. Try tuning into a mantra that works for you.

I’ve been reading up on Kundalini Yoga, and that has been teaching me a few things. Mainly, the aforementioned. I normally do yoga based on the book-Kripalu Yoga. Awesome book.

I love it because it gives you the whole spiritual side of Yoga. That’s why I got it. It’s cool, because the moves are easy, and there are more poses in the back. It talks a little about chakras, and energy centers…

On another subject, I actually think I had a weekend without arguing with my hubby! It seems all we needed was some time to be with each other. We went to Prospect park, since the weather was so nice on Saturday, and had a picnic-and no in laws! It was great! I mean, I love my in laws, but I need some time to myself with my man you know?

Just call me an addict....

Honestly, I really am.

I’m so addicted to Amazon. Amazon allows you to have a wish list, in case you’re just browsing, and happen to see something you like, but can’t purchase at the moment. So actually, I have about…3. I have a wish list just for tarot cards, a cookbook list, a baby book list, and a everything else list. Wait…that’s four lists not three.

Oh well. I love it. And the stuff is so cheap there, that really. Who can beat paying $2 for book? I mean, they are used, but they’re not beat up, that’s for sure.

Speaking of tarot cards, I’ve been studying them again. Trying to learn them, so I can use them for myself and for others. I memorized the major arcana, no I have to study the minor ones, and learn them.

I’ve got a knitting group to go to tonight. Lately I’ve been feeling so lonely. Honestly, my phone doesn’t ring unless it’s the wrong number. It makes me feel so isolated from the world. For such a long time, I was so dependant on my husband. But see, he’s got his music. Well, he always has, but now he really is making it a reality. So sometimes I’m here alone. I can’t stand being in this apartment by myself. I can’t. It’s so depressing. I need to find something outside of just him and I.

What I wish is that I could meet some other pagans out there like myself. Not the freakish purple shirt overweight glazed look in there eye pagans that are out there. Someone who doesn’t look “pagan” on the outside.

Television....

Why do people think that they have to rub in your face, the fact that they think they are better than you? I mean, I’m having a conversation with someone I know, and illustrating a point, using a television show, to which she says, “ Oh I don’t know we don’t watch television”. I felt like saying, oh well excuse me for a living.

I mean, I’m as crunchy as the next person. But really. One thing I love about being married, is curling up in front of the tv and watching a nice movie, or laughing at the trash that is reality tv. It’s nice you know? We make a nice meal, bring the baby to the bed with us, and watch tv.

But why do people have to act like there’s a contest on who’s the most crunchy? Ugh. I tell her that my 3 month old girl still doesn’t have a stroller, and she says, oh well I didn’t use one until my baby was a year old. Yeah right. That’s why she was telling me stories about being annoyed at nosy people on the subway. Hmm.

But that is a point. Why do people feel like they have to tell me what is wrong with my baby? Dude, mind your own fucking business. And please don’t try to touch my daughter. You’re not my family, so back the fuck up.

This time I mean it...

Seriously. I'm going to keep my promise to myself and do yoga every day. I have to. I mean, honestly, I think it really does keep me centered throughout the day, and keeps me from going crazy. Post partum depression blows big time. I don’t know, I guess…everyone has their battle. Mine is and has always been depression. But I’m getting through it. And Yoga helps. Meditation helps. Going out to meet other moms also helps.

Meanwhile my mother is going insane again.

I’m going to the Met today to look at some art. Let’s see if I get to take any pictures.

I’ve been trying to get into photography a little bit.

Also, today I’m actually wearing a skirt. Woo hoo! And it’s above the knee. Wow. What’s next? Heels?

Central Park

Went to a mom's group yesterday. It was my first time. Of course, I am quite happy I went. It's nice to meet other mom's who are just as happy when their babies go to sleep.
Also, I find that I have to force myself out of the house. It's hard to deal with all the stress of being a mother, being home, and not having alot of money, and then to top it all off, my husband coming home and complaining that he doesn't have time to work on his music because he's working all day. I mean, what fault is it of mine? I have plenty of creative things I could be working on right now as well.
The baby's sleeping at the moment. Hubby has a recording session tonite. Maybe I'll go into Manhattan and visit my mother in law at work today. We'll see.
The main problem is that no one told me how stressful motherhood would be. To be honest, it's not the baby that causes all the stress; mostly it's my husband. I just wish I could move him to Alaska sometimes. I get so stressed out sometimes. He doesn't make me feel calm about things. He comes home, and bitches about stuff that I have done yoga to relax about. Then I get tense and stressed out, and I worry about things.
Add that with the fact that I'm a little anti social, and it's a recipe for disaster.
I know what'll make me feel better. I'll take a shower with my scented Dove cream oil body wash (which I love love love), and put on my lavender cream, and maybe go out somewhere. I mean, it's not like he's going to be home. I could eat out or something. I'll call my sister in law.

By force...

So I'm forcing myself to get out into the world and do something. I'm lazy today. Don't really feel like doing anything exept laying around in my sweaty house clothes and watching tv. But dammit, I'm going out today. Out to manhattan, if only for a little while. It's a little lonely, being out and about by yourself...but at least I get some peace of mind. A chance to catch up with myself.
Yes, I'll be carrying my baby around, but hey...she's cute you know?
What else can I say? I'm going away this weekend...that should be fun. Going to a pow wow. Of course, my hubsband had to schedule some recording session the night before. What the heck? With all the running around that is involved in trip, he can't afford to go out the night before. We have a million things to do.
And just one thing-am I the only one that has an entire bag dedicated to my toiletries and products?

Dieting sucks.

I hate diets. I hate it more than I hate Jehovah Witnesses knocking on my door at 8:00 in the morning asking me if I found Jesus. Makes me wonder if they lost him again. Yes, thanks I know Jesus. No, I'm not interested in collecting literature.
What the heck ever possessed people into doing such an idiotic thing? I mean, I could be a serial killer, a pedophile, or worse-an Avon Lady ready to pounce on you.
FUcking diets. Fucking fat.
Now, see the beauty of the internet is of course, that you can't see my fat rolls. I can't show you an old picture of me from when I was fit and fabulous, and you think, oh yea, she's cute.
Little do you know what a strange thing my sweet child has done to my body.
Now I have chichos, which I hate having.
If you don't know what a chicho is, it's just spanglish for fat rolls.
So I have this book-The Diet Cure. I start my fucking diet on monday. Christ. I hate diets.
And then of course, this means, I have to get off my lazy ass and do some exercise.

Murad Acne Complex

What can I say about acne? I hate it. I delt with it all my life. I tried everything. Finally I got married and the New York City water flushed the acne away. That is, until I got pregnant...
Man, I had really bad acne while I was pregnant. It sucks being 30 and having bad acne. Especially when you're pregnant, and just want to feel beautiful.
So I tried this product-Murad Acne Complex. It's more expensive than Proactive, and actually, I tried Proactive and it does not work. At all.
But I did try this Acne Complex and it works well! My skin looks awesome.
So I recommend this product. It works!

Clogs

So now....what is with this new trend I see? These shoes, called crocs, are really ugly. I mean, truly-what an atrocity. Why do people like these things?
They only make your feet look ginormous.
Really, it's a sad day in America for those of us who are fashion conscious.
These things are gross. Don't buy these. Do yourself the favor. Stick to the old faithful flip flops.

My intro

So I'm sitting at my keyboard wondering what to write in my first blog. Okay, I'll write an intro. Basically, I am a pagan witch who has been practicing for about 2 years now, and is a second generation witch.
I'm also a new mother.
My husband is musician, and works at a non profit.
I'm a stay at home mom, so we pretty much always broke.
My biggest grip is that people have this image of pagans-like all of us are these bored, suburban, overweight women who wear purple tye dyed tee shirts own too much black clothing. And dyed hair.
Although for some women, this may be true, it is not so for me. I like to consider myself a fashionable person; I mean, truly, I love to look good. I have a closet full of trendy and classic clothing. I love thrift stores; I collect records and vintage books...