Epiphany

So I had an epiphany. I realized that I really, really love beauty products. I love bath and body products. I love perfumes. I was on a sight yesterday called Patchouli Garden that sells all things Patchouli (I've recently gotten into the scent of patchouli). It's a cool sight in that it sells things that they make themselves AND things that they re-sell-like insence and real Indian perfume oil for around $10 or less. Very nice!

My problem is that while I realize that materialism is something detestable in my parents, it is something that is trying to overtake me. But I won't let it. No sir. I really want to continue my lifelong search for enlightenment. I feel like all the clutter and all the possessions don't allow me to be the me that I want to be. Clutter in the home, is clutter in the soul, I think. It's just so much. So much clothes that I don't wear, so many how to books that I don't use, and so many things. So many. Of course, my vintage book and record collection will stay in tact. But I really want to strip down with all the things I have. I want to display the simple person I feel myself to be on the inside. So today, while my daughter naps, I will be trying to get rid of some books, and clothing that I don't need.

I want my home to reflect who I am, and I don't feel that clutter represents that. I feel like I'm an almost enlightened soul, with a lot of learning left to do. But still I feel like I found peace, and I don't feel like I have to fill myself with possessions in order to feel fulfilled. Instead of material things, I want to fill myself by being a better wife, mother and lover to my husband and daughter. I want to feel fulfilled by having a house full of love instead of a house full of crap.