Monday, October 29, 2007

Hard times in the city....

I really have been out of sorts lately. I don’t feel well at all. A bit down, frankly. I have been trying to make new friendships, and trying to connect with people. It seems like the only people that I can connect with are people who I have nothing in common with. I try to look for people who I can relate to, people who are creative and spiritual like me…but to no avail. I end up being let down. I just want to have a friendship. Is that too much to ask?

I lived my whole life sheltered, being shunned from establishing friendships because of my insane and possessive mother. No one taught me how to establish a friendship while I was growing up. No one taught me anything except heartache and how to be a fanatic Christian. I just want someone to go shopping with; someone to run errands with. You know what I mean? It is just so lonely in this city. No one really gets you at all. No one understands you, and everyone is so quick to judge you.

I watched “Bruce Almighty” last night. It’s all about this guy who thinks his life sucks, and thinks God (portrayed as a male) is not doing his job. It’s not fair, he says. Life sucks, and God is not there for me, blah blah blah. So God gives him all his powers and Bruce becomes god for like a week or so. It is a cool movie, in that Jim Kerry is hilarious. I love that part of the movie. I don’t agree with the idea of a dominant god being a male, nor do I agree that God is a god that is sitting there waiting for our beckon call to answer our prayers, nor do I agree that God decides our future. I do believe in fate, and in things being meant to be, but I think that we have a lot to do with our own future. I think that we can shape our fate, and control our destiny if we chose.

So my point in bringing up this movie, is that I understand how the character feels. Often times I just feel so overlooked in life. I feel like everyone shuffles through life, meanwhile I am always getting stuck, not being able to really move forward with things. Ugh. I just want to find some cool people to talk to and have coffee with.

I’ve tried looking online for mom groups, but I don’t find any creative mom groups at all. I don’t see any groups for mothers who are artistic and creative at all. Just moms with husbands who make probably twice what my husband makes. I have to continue my search, perhaps.

Anyone out there want to be my friend?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

My thoughts on parenting....

Parenting really is something that is a common sense thing. It's so unfortunate that there are people that I know that really have little common sense at all. But parenting requires more than just common sense. It requires you to actually remember what it felt like growing up, and to remember what your parents did you, and it requires that you learn from your past first.
Too many people (like my parents) have children and do not have common sense, and raise their children to truly raise themselves. To be a good parent you have to be a good teacher.
Parenting classes would be alright for some folks, but good parenting comes from the heart.
I have a friend that is such a book parent. Everything out of her mouth is a quote from a book. Meanwhile her daughter is a brat. It takes more than books to raise a child. I can read all the books in the world.
I truly believe that there are people in the world who should not have children. There are people that should not have the privilege of having children. It angers me because I am a result of parents who should never have been allowed to raise children. But this is the world we live in.
In the end, the government is not going to be bothered by such a thing. So we are left to fiend for ourselves and raise ourselves.
But if we, who do know better, become an example, then we can hopefully shed some light to other folks.
I hope I shed a light to my friend (the aforementioned) when I told her that I don't believe in surrounding myself with all these nonsense books on child psychology. I know what my daughter needs. All I have to do is keep my third eye open, and listen to myself. Then I can be a great parent.
But being a good parent is also realizing that no one is perfect.
We all fuck up sometimes.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Right up my alley

So I'm going to take my boob out Oct. 10, and feed my daughter in public without covering up.
It's bad enough that we live in a society where I can't practice my belief in public (meanwhile the bible thumpers in the world can surely tell me I'm going to hell).
Why do we live in such an oppressive society? It's this male dominated society that just wants to oppress women, and control us and make us these silly drones.
I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of the narrow minded people that don't want to be my friend just because they find out I'm a witch. Well you know what? Fuck you. Honestly. I don't care anymore.
I don't agree with some people I know because I honestly could give two shits what people think of me. You can preoccupy yourself with that. Not me. Fuck it. Life is too short for me to be compassionate to Joe Shmoe Bible thumper.
I'll not trivialize what I believe in by throwing pearls to swine.
You may wonder what the hell this has to do with breastfeeding. But to me breastfeeding issuch a sacred and beautiful thing. It's such a magical thing that you do-feeding your child from yourself. It's what motherhood is all about. Giving of yourself to someone who's part of you. What a beautiful thing. It's like spirituality. It's such a sacred and beautiful thing. Then the pigs come and try to oppress motherhood and opress pagans to the point where I have to run out of restaurants, and have to practice my faith in fear of my bible thumper mother ever finding out (and casting out the demons she should take from herself that she thinks are in me).
So spirituality and breastfeeding are two sacred things I'm not going to be afraid of.
Visit http://www.leagueofmaternaljustice.com/2007/09/mission-2-the-g.html
for more info on The Great Virtual Breast Fest.
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Friday, October 5, 2007

My inspiration....

I love this shrine box!
I'm going to make something like this. I'm in the begining stage of making a shrine box to the goddess. This one I got from this site
http://www.artunraveled.com/images/Box_Shrine2.JPG
But I can't wait till the gesso is dry on my box to get started! I just have to build up a little collection of things that I think will look nifty.
A cool site for help on making religious shrine boxes is: http://www.buddhamind.info/leftside/actives/shrine.htm
I'm going to get some tips there.
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