Hard times in the city....

I really have been out of sorts lately. I don’t feel well at all. A bit down, frankly. I have been trying to make new friendships, and trying to connect with people. It seems like the only people that I can connect with are people who I have nothing in common with. I try to look for people who I can relate to, people who are creative and spiritual like me…but to no avail. I end up being let down. I just want to have a friendship. Is that too much to ask?

I lived my whole life sheltered, being shunned from establishing friendships because of my insane and possessive mother. No one taught me how to establish a friendship while I was growing up. No one taught me anything except heartache and how to be a fanatic Christian. I just want someone to go shopping with; someone to run errands with. You know what I mean? It is just so lonely in this city. No one really gets you at all. No one understands you, and everyone is so quick to judge you.

I watched “Bruce Almighty” last night. It’s all about this guy who thinks his life sucks, and thinks God (portrayed as a male) is not doing his job. It’s not fair, he says. Life sucks, and God is not there for me, blah blah blah. So God gives him all his powers and Bruce becomes god for like a week or so. It is a cool movie, in that Jim Kerry is hilarious. I love that part of the movie. I don’t agree with the idea of a dominant god being a male, nor do I agree that God is a god that is sitting there waiting for our beckon call to answer our prayers, nor do I agree that God decides our future. I do believe in fate, and in things being meant to be, but I think that we have a lot to do with our own future. I think that we can shape our fate, and control our destiny if we chose.

So my point in bringing up this movie, is that I understand how the character feels. Often times I just feel so overlooked in life. I feel like everyone shuffles through life, meanwhile I am always getting stuck, not being able to really move forward with things. Ugh. I just want to find some cool people to talk to and have coffee with.

I’ve tried looking online for mom groups, but I don’t find any creative mom groups at all. I don’t see any groups for mothers who are artistic and creative at all. Just moms with husbands who make probably twice what my husband makes. I have to continue my search, perhaps.

Anyone out there want to be my friend?